Asking the RIGHT question

It's surprising how human communication is so flawed and no one is paying attention to fix it at the fundamental level.  Just like the languages in Technology are evolving, well so should our human language. But sadly the language we use daily, to get by, isn't evolving to simplify our needs. We do introduce new slang and some words to our vocabulary every year but that doesn't help much. 

Because of this oftentimes it's not that the answers don't exist, it's just that we aren't asking the right question. And this is true when it comes to asking questions to a computer or a family or friends or colleagues etc. Even media houses seem to be intentionally ignoring this and becoming more of an entertainment+ gossip propagator instead of helping society find answers and evolve. Let me give you an example.

Let's say we want to know an answer to: How do I lose weight?

Well, the default behavior is we stop here and immediately start looking for answers. But instead, if we choose to dig deeper and continue to ask ourselves "Is this the RIGHT question" we instinctively will realize that it is not. We are asking an incomplete question as it's missing so much context. Remember the tip of an iceberg metaphor. Whenever we ask any question these days, we are only looking at the tip of the question which is 10%, and ignoring its base which comprises 90%. 

Now, what is this 90% base that we are ignoring? To begin with, the most obvious thing we are ignoring is the core reason why we want to lose weight in the first place. What is our motivation behind this question? And what are my constraints on the expected answer? To uncover the 90% we need to continue to ask ourselves a bunch of supplementary questions and answer them as honestly as we can. For example: 

• When do I want to lose weight? Let's say, 1 year
• How much weight do I want to lose? Let's say, 15 pounds
• How much time am I willing to spend on this? Let's say, 1 hour per day
• How much money am I willing to spend on this? Let's say, $100 per month
• How much efforts am I willing to put in? Let's say, a low amount of efforts
• How much pain am I willing to endure? Let's say, a low amount of pain
• Have I tried anything before? If yes, what didn't work? I always lose motivation after 2 weeks.
• How many times have I tried to do this before? Let's say, 5 times
• What is my current lifestyle? Let's say, I am an office worker and I sit at my desk for 8 hours a day
• What is my current diet? Let's say, I am a vegetarian and I eat a lot of carbs 
• How much willing am I to change my lifestyle? Let's say, a high amount of willingness
• How much willing am I to change my current diet? Let's say, a high amount of willingness
• What is my age range? Let's say, 30-40
• What is my gender? Let's say, male
• Do I have any medication or health issues? Let's say, no
• What is my current weight? Let's say, 160-180 pounds
• Why do I want to lose weight? Let's say, I want to look good and feel good about myself
• Where is my core motivation coming from? Let's say, when I compare myself I feel bad about myself. Note, I already feel healthy so health is not my core motivator at all.

So let's try to reframe the original question with the above context in mind. 

Original Question: 

     How do I lose weight?

 Reframed Question:

     How do I lose 15 pounds in 1 year by spending 1 hour per day and $100 per month with a very low amount of effort and pain? I am a Male in the 30-40 age range weighing 160-180 pounds. I want to look good and feel good about myself. I have tried to do this 5 times before but I always lose motivation after 2 weeks. I am an office worker and I sit on my desk for 8 hours a day so I can not make any changes here. But I am willing to change my vegetarian diet and eat less carbs. I am also willing to do some simple exercises. I am looking for something that is easy and that sticks naturally for a long time. 

Now this is a much better question as we have added so much context to the original question. We have added our motivation, constraints, past experiences, current lifestyle, current diet, willingness to change, etc. Now we are ready to look for an answer. I hope you can see the difference in impact between finding an answer for the original question vs the reframed one. The original question was hollow, vague, and namesake and so for me it's a wrong question. The reframed question on the other hand is complete hence it's the "RIGHT" question. 

Whenever we are asking a question, we subconsciously have so much context in our minds. But we don't realize that we are not using(ignoring) this context before asking. Our language hasn't trained us to ask a complete question. We are not encouraged, or guided enough to ask the "RIGHT" question. We are habituated to only asking about the tip of the iceberg and ignoring the base. And the ripple effect of this flaw can't be understated. The more ignorant we are and the more we, as a society, continue to not evolve our language to counter this fundamental flaw the more we will suffer. 

Let's take another example to let this sink in before I conclude. Let's say we want to know: How do I start my new startup? Well, we now know that we should not start just yet. The question is missing a bunch of contexts. So let's try to add as much context as we can:

• When do I want to start my new startup? Let's say, within a year
• How much am I willing to put from my pocket? Let's say, $10k
• How many co-founders am I looking for? Let's say, 2
• What is my current skill set? Let's say, I am a software engineer
• What is my current experience? Let's say, 10 years 
• How much risk am I willing to take? Let's say, a moderate amount of risk
• Have you done a competitive analysis? If yes, what did you find? Let's say, I found 10 competitors
• Have you done a market analysis? If yes, how big is the market? Let's say, 10M people
• Have you done market research? If yes, what did you find? Let's say, I talked to 10 people who are willing to pay for my product
• Do you have co-founders ready to join? If yes, what are their skill sets? Let's say, I have 2 co-founders who are also software engineer's background
• What skills set you are missing as a team? Let's say, we are missing marketing and sales skills
• Are you willing to learn new skills? Let's say, yes
• Are you willing to work long hours? Let's say, yes
• Why do I want to start a new startup? Let's say, I want to be my boss and make a lot of money
• Where is my core motivation coming from? Let's say, comparing and seeing other people's success who are young and rich

 So let's try to reframe the original question with the above context in mind. 

 Original Question:

     How do I start my new startup?

 Reframed Question:

     How do I start my new startup within a year by spending $10k from my pocket with 2 co-founders who are also software engineers and are willing to work long hours? I want to be my boss and make a lot of money. I have seen other people's success who are young and rich and I want to be like them. I am a software engineer with 10 years of experience. I am willing to learn new skills. I am willing to take a moderate amount of risk. I have done a competitive analysis and found 10 competitors. I have done market analysis and found 10M people in the market. I have done market research and found 10 people who are willing to pay for my product. We as a team are missing marketing and sales skills. 

Again, this is a much better question compared to the original one. It's sad, that the habit to ask incomplete questions is so ingrained in our society that we don't even realize it. Another side effect of this is even Google  (the defacto search engine for most of us) isn't pushing us towards asking the "RIGHT" question. It just doesn't care. It points us to best-suited articles using the keywords we mentioned in our incomplete question in the shortest amount of time possible. So naturally the answer will not be helpful, it will be unsatisfactory. It might have some surface-level truth but nothing more. You must have observed that 90% of the time, the answer we get from Google just doesn't stick. And this is because not only we are ignorantly asking incomplete questions but also the search engines arent designed to counter this inherent communication flaw of our current human language. 

And yes there is Hope! and it's ChatGPT which seems promising in this regard when compared to regular search engines. Imagine when we ask such incomplete questions, ChatGPT asks further supplementary questions to help us refine our original vague question and keep pushing us until we reach a point where the question is just "RIGHT" and only then gives us an answer. This will be a game-changer. I am looking forward to the next 3-5 years to see how it evolves. I am hoping that via ChatGPT the whole of human communication will evolve to be more complete and "RIGHT".  

To conclude, remember to apply this technique to any questions you ask yourself or anyone else. Almost any question can be reframed to be a complete question. Let it sink in that the more complete the question is, the better the answer will be as it will stick more. It will have a much higher chance of making an impact, of bringing the change you are looking for.  It will let you drive more from a strategic point of view vs going in random directions based on raw emotions. Raw emotions are great triggers, don't get me wrong, but as soon as you hit an obstacle, your emotions will change and you will lose the momentum.

Peace ✌️

PS: I am not a doctor or a nutritionist. I am just sharing my thoughts on how to ask the "RIGHT" question. I am not giving any advice on how to lose weight. Please consult your doctor or nutritionist about that 😉