Let's be honest. Compassion doesn't come easy. It's one of the most difficult things to achieve as a human being, and especially as a human in 2025.
We're all wired to think about ourselves first. Our problems. Our bills. Our goals. That's just how society has shaped us - heavily individualistic and, let's call it what it is, a bit greedy. And here's the thing: no one taught us otherwise. Schools teach math, history, science, and basic communication skills. But thinking and seeing every situation from at least ten different points of view that triggers compassion? That skill got skipped entirely. And that's unfortunate, because to be compassionate is one of the most important things a human must learn.
How do you become more compassionate? You don't wait for it to magically appear. You trigger it.
The Core Idea
Here's what I've found works: You deliberately put yourself in someone else's shoes. Not in a vague "I feel for them" way. I mean, really stepping into their life. Visualizing their entire day. Feeling the friction.
The key is to pick situations that make you uncomfortable. If you pick a life that's already close to yours, you won't feel much. But if you pick something you'd rather avoid, or something you desperately want to become - that's where the magic happens. The discomfort is the trigger.
Think of it like travel. When people say "travel changes you," what's actually happening behind the scenes? You're eating different food, meeting different people, seeing different ways of living. Your brain is collecting new viewpoints. And when you have more viewpoints to reference, compassion comes easier. The larger the variety of perspectives you've experienced (or imagined), the more naturally empathy flows.
The Exercise
This is simple but powerful. Set aside 30 to 60 minutes. No phone, no distractions. You're going to pick a combination of traits from the categories below and fully imagine yourself as that person.
Here's how to do it:
- Pick one option from each category (or a few categories) to create a persona
- Spend at least 10 minutes living in their shoes
- Visualize their entire day:
- What time do they wake up?
- What do they do next?
- And then?
- And then?
- What time do they eat? What kind of food? How much?
- How are their friends and family?
- How are they feeling emotionally, spiritually, and physically?
- Now imagine they look back at you. Would they trade places with you in a heartbeat?
- What time do they go to sleep?
- Do this 3 to 5 times with different combinations
The rule: Do NOT pick options that currently describe you. Pick things you'd rather avoid. Pick things that feel uncomfortable to imagine. That friction is the whole point.
If you're a human being who's breathing, I guarantee this will work. Give it an honest 30-60 minutes without breaks, and something will shift.
The 8 Categories
Think of each category as a spectrum. You can land anywhere on it. Pick the spot that creates the most friction for you.
1. Gender
- You're a man in a society that expects strength
- You're a woman in a society that expects sacrifice
- You're non-binary in a world that doesn't understand you
- You're a single mother with three kids
- You're an elderly widow living alone
2. Age
- You're 5 years old
- You're 15 and figuring out who you are
- You're 30 and in the thick of life
- You're 60 and watching your body slow down
- You're 85 and know the end is near
3. Health
- You have a perfectly healthy body
- You are blind
- You are deaf
- You cannot speak
- You have no legs
- You have no hands
- You have autism
- You are chronically sick
4. Residence
- You live in a Manhattan penthouse with a doorman
- You live in a cramped apartment in a noisy city, walls thin as paper
- You live in a quiet suburb with a backyard and neighbors who wave
- You live in a remote village with no internet, and the nearest hospital is 3 hours away
- You live in a refugee camp, waiting for papers that may never come
- You live in a war-torn city where you hear explosions at night
- You live on an island where everyone knows your name - and your business
- You live in a slum in Mumbai, sharing one room with six family members
- You live in a mansion, but in a country where you can't speak freely
- You live in a van by choice, traveling wherever the road takes you
5. Religion
- You were born Hindu
- You were born a Christian
- You were born Muslim
- You were born a Buddhist
- You were born into any other faith
- You were born with no religion at all
6. Work
- You're a CEO making decisions that affect thousands of lives
- You're a janitor cleaning offices after everyone's gone home
- You're a doctor in an ER, holding life and death in your hands every shift
- You're unemployed for 8 months and running out of hope
- You're a teacher in an underfunded school, buying supplies with your own money
- You're a soldier deployed far from home, following orders you don't agree with
- You're a sex worker doing what you have to do to survive
- You're a farmer waking up at 4am, praying for rain
- You're a factory worker doing the same task 10 hours a day, 6 days a week
- You're a stay-at-home parent, and nobody calls it "work."
- You're retired with nothing to do and no one expecting anything from you
- You're a street vendor selling fruit in the heat, shooed away by the police
7. Wealth
- You're a billionaire who can buy anything
- You're upper-middle class with a comfortable cushion
- You're living paycheck to paycheck, one emergency away from trouble
- You just lost your job and have two months of savings left
- You're drowning in debt with no way out
- You're homeless, sleeping on the street tonight
- You're a farmer in a developing country earning $2 a day
- You grew up rich but lost everything
- You grew up poor and just made your first million
8. Tough Situations
- You're in the middle of a war zone
- You're living through a famine
- You're about to be hanged in one hour
- You're a prisoner in Auschwitz, Germany
- You have one month left to live
Why This Works
When you force your brain to simulate a different life - really simulate it, not just think about it for 10 seconds - something happens. Your brain starts building new reference points. And these reference points don't disappear. They stay with you.
Next time you see someone struggling, your brain now has a file to pull from. "Oh, I spent 10 minutes imagining what it's like to be blind. I remember what that felt like." And that memory creates a bridge. That bridge is compassion.
Here's the bonus: our brains aren't one-directional machines. They're webs of complicated connections. When you trigger compassion, it creates a ripple effect. You'll notice other positive changes too - more patience, more gratitude, less judgment. One shift leads to many.
A Word Before You Start
This exercise can feel heavy. You're imagining war, famine, illness, loss. That's a lot to sit with.
But here's what I want you to know: the point is NOT to feel sad. The point is to come back to your own life with fresh eyes.
When you spend 10 minutes as a blind person navigating your morning, and then you open your eyes and look around your room, something shifts. You're not just "grateful you can see." It's deeper than that. You suddenly notice how much you take for granted. How much is already good. How much do you already have?
That problem you've been stressing about? It's still there. But it looks different now. Smaller. More manageable. Nothing is ever as bad as it seems when you've just spent an hour in shoes far heavier than yours.
So don't walk away from this exercise feeling drained. Walk away lighter. Smile a little. Enjoy your coffee. Call someone you love. And if you can, help someone who needs it.
That's the whole point. Compassion isn't just about feeling for others. It's about living better for yourself.
Just Try It
You don't need to believe me. You don't need to be spiritual or into self-help. Just set aside one hour. Pick 3-5 combinations. Do the exercise honestly.
If you're human and breathing, it will work.
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